Every week another AI tool launches with a big promise. Some fix a real problem. Some fix a problem you didn't know you had. And a few just sit there being confident about nothing. Here are ten from that last group.
1. The Sandwich Rater
You upload a photo of your lunch and it gives you a score out of ten. It's always a 7. Nobody knows why, and it won't say.
2. The Passive-Aggressive Email Polisher
You type "as I already said" and it upgrades it to "per my previous email, which I'm sure you meant to read." It's technically polite and it will start at least one office feud.
3. The Meeting Summarizer for Meetings That Should Have Been Emails
It listens for an hour and produces a two-line email. Honestly, it's the only part of the process that makes sense.
4. The Houseplant Translator
You ask your fern how it's feeling and it says "water me." It said the same thing yesterday, and the soil was soaking. The fern has nothing else to say.
5. The Wi-Fi Name Generator
It gives you a pun for your router, like "Pretty Fly for a Wi-Fi," and you'll be stuck with it until the router dies. Your neighbors have already judged you.
6. The Horoscope Based on Your Open Tabs
Fourteen tabs about air fryers and one about a rash. The stars say a big purchase is coming, and you should probably see someone about that rash.
7. The Resume Optimizer
It sprinkles "synergy" and "stakeholder" over your work history until a recruiter's eyes glaze over. Your resume now says you "leveraged cross-functional paradigms" when all you did was fix a printer.
8. The Excuse Generator
Running late? It blames traffic. Missed a deadline? Traffic. It has one idea and it's committed to it.
9. The Apology Bot
It says sorry on your behalf, at length, with feeling, for something you haven't owned up to yet. This is either a great idea or a terrible one, and I can't tell.
10. The Confidence Meter
It scans your face and tells you how confident you look. Every result says "somewhat confident," and you now feel less confident than before you opened it.
The funny part is that some of these are probably in a startup pitch deck somewhere right now. If you've got a better (worse) idea for a tool nobody asked for, send it our way at admin@orvoi.com. We're always looking for more.